How to get your baby to sleep through the night.

It's easy to get a baby to go to sleep. They sleep when they are tired. That is not what this post is about. This post is about how to get a baby to settle, sleep, and sleep enough hours for you, the parent, to retain some sanity in the early years. 

The first thing I will say, is that not all babies are the same. Some will be natural sleepers, others will be naturally active at night (little buggers). I don't claim to be an expert on making babies sleep well, but I will share what we did, and it seems to have worked for us.

Good sleeping habits come from the parent. I am a big advocate of co-sleeping. I once read somewhere that, at night, lying down with your baby and actually showing her that night-time is for sleeping sends a very powerful message to your child. Getting a baby to sleep in a cot in her PJs while you go downstairs and carry on doing daytime things sends a mixed message. The idea is to lead by example, especially in the early days. I use the phrase 'monkey see, monkey do'!

For the first few weeks of all of our childrens' lives, I co-slept with them for at least part of the night. It helps that I was able to breastfeed all of them too, because I believe that getting out of bed in the middle of the night, coming downstairs to make up feeds is contrary to sending the message that, at night, we stay in our beds and sleep. I know that breastfeeding is not the choice for all parents, but if you can find a way to do night feeds without having to leave the bedroom, then all the better.

Another help is to make sure the baby is as comfortable as possible. Use a vest with poppers, and an all-in-one sleepsuit. Then use a baby sleeping bag / gro-bag. Don't cover the head with a hat. Avoid over-use of cot bumpers and blankets. To avoid the baby waking up due to an uncomfortable bottom, pick a decent nappy. We have always used Pampers Baby Dry. Yes they are expensive, but even if you use them only at night and cheaper ones during the day, you will notice the difference a good nappy makes. If you need to change their nappy, and you will probably need to do this at least once or twice a night for the first few weeks, then keep changes to 'business only' - no talking to them, or playing. 


Make the distinction between nap-time and bed-time. Don't put baby in their night-time bed for daytime naps. Use the pram, or car seat for naps, in a different room from their usual bedroom. This saves the baby getting confused and reinforces that the cot is for lovely long night-time sleeps. 

Routine is key. The baby needs to get the familiar signals that bedtime is approaching, but don't make a rod for your own back. Our first child had a bath as part of her routine, every single night, and we became a slave to it. I'm not even sure it worked as well as others told us it would. Our current routine is to have tea (dinner), then have a bit of a play. Then we watch some childrens' tv with the older two. Sometimes, just hearing the theme tune to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse can make the babies rub their eyes. We put the twins' pyjamas on, and then they have some milk. We do a last nappy change, then we grab the first twin (either will do), and carry them round to kiss everyone good night. We say 'night night' and wave to anyone who is still up, and carry them upstairs. I put them in their sleeping bag, into their cot, and say 'night night' again. Then I repeat for the other twin. They grab their little comfort toys, lay down and, after not too much whining, settle and go to sleep. They each have their own cot in the same room, and we never swap them about. 

We NEVER, EVER bring them downstairs once they have gone to bed. They know they will not be coming out of their cots until I go and get them in the morning. They know this because when they slept in my room with me, that's what we did. We went up to bed when it got dark, and didn't come out of the room until it got light again. They went through a phase of crying to come out of their cots, but after a short period (about three or four days), they realised that they were not going to be taken out and they had to go to sleep. This is akin to controlled crying. 

Controlled crying can be a contentious issue. Controlled crying is where you put the baby down, let them cry for a bit, then go in and calm them down by talking or singing to them, or patting them (without picking them up), and leave again. They start crying again, and you repeat your actions. Eventually the baby learns to settle without you. That's the plan anyway. I would highly recommend controlled crying as a technique. It worked for us. We found it took three days for this technique to work. The key is not to give up after one or two nights. This technique worked for us when the babies got to about six months old. 

To survive the first few weeks, try and sleep when your baby does. Don't sit up half the night blogging, or watching crap TV - go to bed!!! 

Also always remember that the baby's phase of waking every two or four hours is usually a temporary, short-lived one. I know that when you are sleep deprived, thinking logically is easier said than done, but hang on in there - your hard work will pay off. 

The twins are now almost 12 months old and they sleep from 7.30pm to 7.30am, with only the occasional interruption, usually due to teething. They sleep all the way through more often than not. Our oldest child (who is seven) still fights settling at every bedtime, but sleeps like a log once she settles and I have to drag her out of bed in the morning. The 4-year old sleeps from 8pm to 7am. She always settled well, but is naturally an early riser. We have managed to train her to go back to sleep until someone else gets up. 

All in all, we are pleased with how our girls sleep, especially the twins. But us parents are good sleepers, and monkey see, monkey do!

Good luck

To see other parents' stories about sleep, click on the badge above